I hit a new milestone today…

But then I lost it.

I started my instagram page, @bryanathatboymom, about a year and a half ago. Since then, I have had lots of ups and downs in learning how to express myself, how to be authentic online, and how to play by the rules.

But one thing I learned, is if you try to be anyone but yourself, you will burn out. Fast.

For a long time I only posted what I thought people wanted to see.

And I had…. some success.

But I felt like I was putting in way too much work for what I was receiving back.

And, because I was being “fake” online, it was only natural that what I saw, I also presumed to be fake.

The engagement, the encouragement, the content… It all seemed to be so fake and shallow.

And it was infuriating.

I felt like I was in an echochamber. I created what I saw, and I saw what I created.

I didn’t dare post anything that swayed from the narrative. I was working so hard to grow, I couldn’t bear the thought of experiencing any confrontation, offending anyone, or, even worse, losing followers.

Same thing, same thing, same thing. Everywhere.

Why was I working so hard, just to be like everyone else?

I started having temper tantrums online and posting about how much I hated social media.

Not a good look for a wanna-be influencer.

So, I decided to take a couple weeks off.

And, when I came back to my space, I started posting more authentically. And, honestly, showing up so vulnerably online was so nerve racking! My heart was pounding, and I was constantly checking my stats and notifications. It was like an adrenaline rush every time I posted.

But, over time, it got easier.

And, I think my people found me.

Because, in six months, I grew from 1,000 to 9,000 followers.

Yup, you read that right. I finally hit 9k!

That 9k mark I was sooo looking forward to!

I felt like I was stuck in the 8,000’s for aaaaages.

And I was.

But, today was the day! I left the 8’s behind and hit the 9’s!

Next stop, 10k!!!

But….

It was a big news day in the USA. The new democratic candidate picked her VP choice.

And I had thoughts.

And, I shared them.

And, I lost my 9k.

My numbers are now dropping.

My new followers did not like what I had to say.

Did I care?

A little bit.

But, it was also kind of empowering.

My words affected someone so much that they had to take action against it.

I mean, it was action that removed me from their lives forever, but still…

And, I don’t even have extreme views.

But, I dared to question the “golden woman”‘s choice in VP, and noted some very questionable choices he has made during his tenure as governor of Minnesota.

Lots of people just don’t like being told that they are wrong. They don’t like flaws being pointed out in their logic.

If they have the ability to remove that, and keep feeling like they are right, because they agree with the main narrative, then they will.

Especially if it is as easy as an “unfollow” button.

So, if I can do it, so can you.

Keep being you.

Share yourself, your life, your views, and don’t be afraid of confrontation or even dropping insta stats.

Your people will find you.

Its a tumultuous time in the US and Canada right now – Election season.

And people are picking sides.

Lots of people are comfortable in their echo chambers, and if you don’t fit in, they might remove you.

So be it 🙂